Playing with toys? It's got to be a boy thing . . .

Having recently paused to ponder on Silly Hat Syndrome, I was heard to opine that this was rather a Girl Thing.

Being a reasonably fair-minded person (except when ranting on about dogs, camper vans, eco light bulbs, and . . . and . . .), I thought I ought to redress the balance. Also I don't want Claire to hit me.

The pic bears witness to what is clearly a Boy Thing and a very serious business to boot: The Playing With of Toys. I was in the process of constructing a record player (See previous post on favourite vinyl) for mine and Claire's joint 50th birthday birthday party.

Persons of a house proud nature will be deeply shocked by the deck and LPs strewn all over the table, the sound desk on the chair and miles of cable all over the floor.

The resulting hi-fi was good for about 200 watts per channel, well enough to ensure permanent excommunication by the neighbours and a 9/10 Serious Toy Rating.

There is not the slightest doubt that this is an essential male need: I must increase my collection of Very Useful Musical Things, just as the golfer needs more bats and sticks or the camper van driver his Bolt-On Hyper Snail-Drive Transmission.

This is the only thing I have in common with either set of individuals. I wish I could deny it, but unfortunately I can't. We are all blokes and the logic is the same, even if our tastes are different.

And I'm afraid that when it comes to justifying the expense, us guys are far more hypocritical than the girls. When a woman buys that 80 quid hair-do she merely says it's worth it. She is of course wrong, but it' s her honestly-held belief.

Men usually apply their classic sense of economic priorities when the household is in dire need of essential but boringly non-toy items, such as car tyres or a new roof. In fact they buy the toy and then try in all dishonest seriousness to justify it.

For example, I just treated myself to a very classy little pre-amp for my oud (arab lute) and 12-string acoustic guitar. And why not? I do, in fact, earn some money as a guitarist, so it's not a toy, it's an investment. The one flaw in this argument is that on paying gigs, I'm invariably playing electric.

Yours unfaithfully, Ed