In fact we're all going to be run over by a bus . . .

I had barely finished the previous episode when I learned that dear old Harold, 89, had put the date of Rupture back to October 21.

There was a loose bead on his abacus apparently, or possibly a loose screw . . .

This is his new date for The End Of The World. Of course, I thought, he might get run over by a bus. That was when it hit me (the thought, I mean). This IS how it will End. We're all going to get run over by a bus.

It's as good a theory as any, even if I do normally support L'Equipe Bugarach. I was hoping to find a funky French bus to support my theory but the net let me down badly. The only pics I could find were a few manky old scrappers, parked in a field near Marseilles.

So I fell back on that legendary Beelzebus: The London Transport Routemaster. Actually it's a magnificent creature, and even the Zargatron spacecraft couldn't look more weirdly out of place, should you happen to find it prowling the slopes of Bugarach.

I hope the Press Association won't mind me borrowing their very nice pic, but it's not as if I'm getting paid for this and they did leave it lying around on the net.

Their Routemaster is a particularly voracious one and absolutely ideal for the job. It has already eaten Big Ben, apart from the indigestible spiky bit and may well be limbering up to do a Thelma and Louise straight into the long-suffering River T.

Normally I can't abide conspiracy theories but I thought I'd have to work this one up a bit if I'm going to get you to swallow it. I discovered that on 21 October 2010, students from Lock Haven University, Pennsylvania, ran a bus to attend the Rally To Restore Sanity in Washington DC. Getting warm, eh?

Then I noticed the Routemaster's number: 159. That's almost exactly the same as Harold Camping's age, except . . . more. Then I found out that the last Routemaster in regular service was a Number 159 when it made its Final Journey. It was 26 minutes late, which only adds to the sense of impending death. The Final Journey took place on 9 December 2005, which is just like 12/21 December 2011, except . . . earlier.

That has to be the clincher. I rest my case.