God rest ye merry . . . Catalan crapping Santas

This being the fourth year that Ye Merrie Blog has broached the subject of Christmas, I would not wish to bore you with more of the same old stuff.

Thus it is that, not without trepidation, I present a foray, an exploration even, into that peculiarly Catalan Crimbo tradition, the Caganer, or Crapper.

First let's be clear about Catalonia. Whilst modern Catalonia is in Spain, historically it stretched into France, and indeed finished but a few kilometres south of Fa. To this day, many folk around Perpignan regard themselves as Catalan rather than French, and woe betide anyone who fails to tell the difference.

None of which explains the deeply eccentric Catalan tradition of placing this little figurine the Caganer rather unexpectedly into Nativity scenes. So there you have it: Mary, Joseph, the baby Jesus, the shepherds, the wise men, the odd camel or two, and this little chap having a dump.

Apparently it's been common practice for at least 200 years but no-one knows why. Naturally there are a number of theories: One is that the Caganer is the great leveller, because however posh we are, we all have to poo. Another is that the figure represents the fertility of the earth.

The local Catholic church is surprisingly tolerant of this thriving custom. And given that devout Catholics routinely process through Perpignan on Maundy Thursday wearing full Inquisition regalia, that's saying quite a lot. NB: Readers with religious sensitivities should note that I am not making this up. 

Of course, there are rules: The Caganer should not placed in full view in the Nativity scene; that would indeed  be disrespectful. Spotting the Caganer makes a bit of fun for the children, and presumably helps to avoid them getting bored during the service.

The original Caganer, as pictured, represents a Catalan peasant, but you can buy all sorts of celeb models this days, it's a nice little earner for the ever-entrepreneurial Catalans. There's famous footballers, Prince Charles, Nicolas Sarkozy and of course Santa Claus.

I understand that His Holiness the Pope is a particularly strong seller, though Caganer makers hasten to point out that it's an honour rather than an insult to be modelled; rather as the only thing worse than being in Spitting Image was not being in Spitting Image.

It has to be said that Catalans seem obsessed with crap at Christmas. There are also the Caga Tios, or Christmas logs. These are "fed" with sweets in the days leading up to Christmas. Then you all gather round and sing a traditional ditty, inevitably a scat vocal, and beat the log with a stick until it shits sweets to the delight of all the children.

And nobody knows why they do that either . . .